Feelin Like a Fool Again Cause I Dont Know You Anymore Im Tired of Trying to Understand

I cringed at these things my friends said to me these few years. For those of you who don't really get us, I've decided to let you know  10 things not to say to a depressed person from my own experience.And be forewarned, for if you ever dare to even offset uttering the below to me, I will hang y'all by your legs upside down, skin you alive and and so deep fry you before publicly disowning yous and denying your pitiful existence.

I had never thought people would write to me for communication and suggestions. A few weeks dorsum, a friend wrote to me and said she simply found out that a family fellow member of a friend has depression. Simply her friend did not know what to say or how to encourage the low sufferer. She asked me if I had whatsoever recommendations. It got me thinking.

However, as I'm non a md, I can't give medical advice. Moreover, what to say is very dependent on the personality and state of affairs of the oppressed. But what I can offering is my take on what Not to say to someone in depression. Hopefully this tin help yous empathize where nosotros weirdos are coming from, and for you to be more sensitive to our plight.

And on that notation, may I solemnly remind you again: please don't ever e'er EVER once again say the below in bold type to me in whatever circumstances if you consider me a friend. Otherwise I'thousand throwing a tantrum in your face.

Do NOT say:- (Oh wow, I'm writing a list!!!)

1. "Remain Positive"

I think: Duh! I know – but how? To me, my reality is that the world has alreadycaved in. What is irrational to you makes utmost sense to me. I'grand and then angry / upset / sad / lonely / devastated / hopeless / in despair… Why can't you lot understand me?

I experience: Recoil further into my vanquish to avoid future contact and meaningless advice because you lot never told me how to remain positive.

two. "Don't recall like that"

I think: Why not? What's wrong with thinking like I do? Information technology'southward an honest opinion. I actually think this. Information technology's negative all right, just that's what I think, so what'due south wrong? And so how should I think instead? Like you? But I don't agree with you lot, and then I become you if I call up like you lot…?

I feel: I did something wrong for thinking a certain way, and you reprimanded me for thinking and then. Thus, I withdraw, and berate myself for thinking the way I practise, and screw further down into depression due to cocky-criticism.
3. "Pull yourself together" / "Snap out of it" and the likes

I remember: How? Snap out of what? I don't want to exist like this either, you think it's fun?

I feel: Feel completely useless and hopeless that I'thousand incapable of holding myself together and getting better. Depression snowballs with this sense of incompetence.

4. "Why do yous demand to exist depressed?"

I recollect: Umm… I don't know, I wish I knew. Doctors said it's because of some imbalance in serotonin in me. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!

I experience: Accused of committing a heinous crime to be depressed. Dislocated because I don't know what happened to brand me depressed and how information technology all happened. Lost since I don't know how to become out of depression. Feel inferior and worse about myself, so I hide from you also considering I don't want to feel inadequate.

v. "Look at how lucky you are already! Exist thankful"

I retrieve: I am thankful for what I take. But what does that have to do with depression? Doctors and every website I've read say depression is an affliction and has biological factors. Depression needs to be treated as any other sickness. You are lucky too, be thankful – stop having a freaking cold and sneezing germs into the air I breathe!

I experience: Misunderstood every bit a spoilt, ungrateful little daughter when I'1000 non. Frustrated for being misunderstood, cry, wail, sad. Retreat into my hiding place – once again.

six. "Go do something and yous will feel meliorate."

I think: Go exercise what? I tin can't be bothered. I'chiliad tired. I'm not interested. I have no energy. I simply want to sleep. Doing something won't make me experience better. Exit me solitary.

I feel: Tired and lethargic, and no energy to think about what to do. Harassed because y'all keep telling me to do something.

(N.B. What did work, was instead of telling me to do something, my fiancé simply made me put my clothes on, slid me into my boots, and dragged me out of the house for a walk, talking most random things on the mode, non once mentioning annihilation to do how I was doing or asking if I felt amend.)

7. "What's wrong with you?"

I think: I WISH I KNEW. I wish I knew. Oh how I wish I knew. Can y'all tell me? Tin somebody tell me? I don't want to exist similar this. Why am I like this?

I feel: Absolutely hopeless because I don't know why I became like this, and I was unable to notice out the reasons behind my low. Very belittled and angry at myself. Can't deal with this. I might as well die.

8. "You should do this…" or "You lot should not practise this (such every bit kill yourself)…"

I think: Why? This is my life, I'm immune to end information technology if I desire. Why should I swallow? I'1000 not hungry.

I feel: Patronized by your condescending tone (even if you lot didn't take 1). Rejected for non doing what you recall I am supposed to. Another bash to my already dwindling self-conviction – you lot only succeeded in making me feel more desperate and more depressed.

9. "See how others suffer even worst, and have no nutrient to eat, be grateful for what you have"

I think: Simply you told me not to compare myself with others when I told you I was envious of others who have achieved more than me. So how double faced is it that simply considering others are less fortunate I can compare with them? I know you are trying to tell me I should count my blessings – I do, trust me I do. Merely how does this solve my depression? I notwithstanding feel that life is not worth living despite being grateful for what I have. I am too tired to carry on and effort.

I feel: Baffled as to why sometimes you lot say don't compare and other times you tell me to do so. I don't understand how being thankful makes me feel better, because what I accept now has no meaning and no value to me. I JUST WANT TO Dice. Maybe if I die, at that place'd be more food for those who don't accept any. Go along to jumping out the window from 30^thursday floor.

ten. "It'south all in your caput…"

I think: It'S NOT! But I know. How exercise I change my head? It's non my fault. I didn't want this. I can't control information technology. I'grand trying but I tin can't!

I experience: Furious at myself for not being able to control my head and thinking. Inept at everything I'one thousand trying to do and worse, for disappointing you. Lone that no one can understand me. Alienate myself. Doomed to fail; might besides die…

You might consider our reactions and emotions to what you say extremely unreasonable. I will not fence about it. Nevertheless, carry in listen that someone affected by depression does have a lot of "irrational" thoughts by standard of the norm. However, information technology is our reality and we completely believe it, irrational or not. So don't effort to debate or convince us otherwise. You will only push button the states further downward our bleak track.

My contention is that, the wrong thing said, tin can unknowingly push a depressed friend over the edge. Not to be fatalistic, only 60% of suicides in the globe is associated low – go ask the Globe Health Organization if you don't believe me.

Please, give united states of america a break. If we all had a choice, I don't recall any of the states would want to linger in a state of depression.

If you don't know what to say, don't say anything. Simply sit with usa, permit usa cry, kick your shoes or whatever. That's maybe all nosotros need for now. Leave the lecturing to a medical expert such every bit a psychologist who can do it skillfully.

I compiled this from feel and based on my own reactions; I winced every time someone said the above to me in the last three years. Simply for reference.

If you have anything else to add together to the listing of things to not say to a depressed person, experience free to in comments beneath. And if yous liked this blurb please share with your friends and help my blog grow. Thanks 🙂

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Source: http://nochnoch.com/2012/02/20/10-things-not-to-say-to-a-depressed-person-and-please-dont-ever-say-to-me-either/

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